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Siblings and Eating Disorders
The First to Know
Eating disorders can bring out many painful experiences, not only for the sufferer but for those closest to them. Siblings may be among the first to identify the signs and symptoms of an eating disorder in their loved one, recognizing the changes that occur as the disease progresses.
For example, if an individual is struggling with anorexia, their siblings many notice indicators of this mental illness, such as changes in eating habits, food rituals, or sudden and drastic weight loss. In the instance of bulimia, observable changes may be the disappearance of large quantities of food, frequent disappearing after meals, or an obsession with weight and body image.
Staying In-Tune to Symptoms
These red flags may be more apparent to the brother or sister of a person with an eating disorder, particularly when living under the same roof or in close proximity. In the sharing of childhoods, memories, family meals, living space, and more, siblings may be more in tuned to signs and symptoms of an eating disorder.
Observing your brother or sister develop an eating disorder can be overwhelming and confusing, especially if you do not understand what an eating disorder involves. As a sibling, you may recognize that something is wrong, yet it can be difficult to identify exactly what is going on or how to approach your brother or sister about what they may be dealing with.
The Signs
Eating disorders often engross an individual in a cloud of:
- Isolation
- Fear
- Denial
- Shame
You may find that your relationship with your sibling has become strained as an eating disorder develops or that the connection you once had has begun to fade. As an outsider, you may feel perplexed about the struggles your sibling is facing.
Self-Blaming
It can be trying to reconcile the many complexities involved in an eating disorder. You may even find yourself wondering if you contributed at all or feeling guilt for not being able to help your sibling recover. Watching a brother or sister suffer through these illnesses can be burdening, and it is important that you seek out help and support for your self during this time.
As a sibling of an eating disorder sufferer, you can be an incredible part of your loved one’s journey and recovery. This is possible as you strengthen yourself through this process.
Keep these suggestions in mind to help yourself and your sibling:
Find a Support System
Because an eating disorder involves many factors and complexities, it is important that you have an outlet for processing your thoughts and emotions. Whether this be a trusted family member or friend, counselor, or therapist, find someone that you can openly converse with. You may even consider finding an support group for friends and family members of eating disorder sufferers.
Talking with other people who share similar experiences may help give you greater insight about the eating disorder journey. Having a way to openly communicate your fears, concerns, worries, etc. will help you cope with any obstacles you are facing in a healthy way.
Avoid Self-Blame:
Perhaps you feel guilty about your sibling’s eating disorder or as though you are to blame for their struggles. Know that many factors contribute to the development of an eating disorder that are completely out of your control, such as genetics and neurobiology.
Self-blame is counterproductive to healing, restoration, and recovery. If you are struggling with feelings of guilt or shame in relation to your sibling’s eating disorder, be sure to discuss these concerns with a health professional.
Become Involved:
You can serve an effective and important part in your sibling’s recovery from an eating disorder. While there may be many aspects about the recovery journey that you do not understand, do not let his prevent you from learning and becoming involved.
If appropriate, inquire about the possibility of family therapy sessions or learning how to meal support your sibling. Though they may not be able to express it, having your support in the recovery journey speaks volumes about the care and concern you have for them.
The eating disorder struggle can be especially painful for a sibling, who may observe that something is wrong in their brother or sister but not fully understand. Finding a support system, avoiding self-blame, and being involved in the recovery journey can all be helpful in finding hope through the process.
Contributor: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC for Eating Disorder Hope
Last Updated & Reviewed by: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC, on December 11, 2014. Published on AddictionHope.com
