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Body Image Tips for New Mothers
Contributor: By Dr. Kim Dennis, CEDS, CEO/Medical Director Emeritus of Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center
Experiencing pregnancy then giving birth are extraordinary milestones in a woman’s life. Yet the weeks and months following the birth can be fraught with many challenges. Caring for a whole new life, adapting to a new routine, adjusting to sleep deprivation and around the clock feeding schedules, dealing with the physical and emotional ramifications of childbirth, while still providing attention to a husband, partner or other children, is an enormous undertaking.
The fact that women have been doing this for centuries is little comfort when trying to cope with a wailing baby at four o’clock in the morning.
Many women experience an increase in negative body image after having a baby. This is in no way surprising. We live in a culture obsessed with thinness. Sadly, this is a “take no prisoners” mindset, meaning even women who have recently delivered are not exempt from the thin ideal.
How the Media Plays a Role in Body Pressure
Much of this increased pressure is due to the media and child baring in the world of celebrity. Famous women, like everyday people, often get pregnant in the usual way. That is where the similarity ends. Unlike the rest of the world, these women can employ chefs to create the optimal food for pregnancy and have personal trainers or yoga instructors to help them remain in tip-top shape throughout the pregnancy.
This matters in terms of how their bodies respond during pregnancy and after they give birth. These professionals usually remain on staff after the baby comes; additionally, affluent people often employ nannies to help with the newborn, thus allowing uninterrupted sleep.
How All the Work Appears Like Nothing
The end result is in seemingly no time at all, these women appear at a star-studded gala, on the red carpet, or at a movie premier looking glamorous, fit and slim. Naturally, celebrity interviewers are “shocked” by their appearance because they look so stunning … and thin.
This is profoundly unfair because the world exists under the erroneous assumption that if these celebrities can do it, so can everyone. The truth is, if all women had similar advantages, and were equally insanely obsessed with body size and shape, this would be possible.
If you are a new mother and struggle with body image issues, please consider the following:
Extend Grace
We so often extend understanding and kindness to others, but not ourselves. You would not find fault in another woman who just had a baby and wasn’t ready to don a bikini, so don’t find fault in yourself. Extend grace to your body. After all, it just accomplished a tremendous feat by growing a whole new person.
It did its part, now do yours. Give it the time and care it requires to return to its new normal. Too many new mothers, distraught by the size or shape of their post-baby bodies, begin to restrict food. This is no time to diet, especially if you are breast feeding.
Remember, it took nine months to create that baby, nine months that your body underwent extreme change. You did not pressure your body to make that baby in six months, so don’t pressure it to return to normal according to some unrealistic time frame.
Cultivate Gratitude
A baby is the greatest gift you will ever be given. This child is undoubtedly the most beautiful baby in the entire world.
Be thankful. Instead of staring at a full-length mirror and obsessing on what you perceive of as imperfection, spend time gazing at your new child who is the embodiment of perfection.
Three Important Don’ts
Don’t incessantly weigh yourself; in fact, just put the scale away for a few months. Too many people allow the number on the scale to dictate their mood for the entire day. Don’t keep trying on your pre-pregnancy clothes; yet again, if they remain a little snug, this alone could influence your outlook on the day.
And finally, above and beyond the celebrities on magazine covers, don’t compare yourself to others, not your best friend, not your sister. Whether the former was back to her original size in a month, or the latter never saw that size again, is irrelevant. Their experience is not your experience.
One Significant Do
Do cherish every minute with this new child, for every single moment has incredible value. When people say that children “just grow up so fast,” it is because they do. Work outside the home, hobbies, the usual socializing, routine trips to the gym, and especially, that pre-pregnancy body you may long for, can wait. All that genuinely matters in the now is you and that perfect gift from God: your baby.
Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!
Have you or your loved one struggled with body image as a new mother? What advice do you have to share with a new mom that may be struggling with her body image?
About the Author:
Dr. Kim Dennis is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorder treatment, addiction recovery, trauma / PTSD and co-occurring disorders. As CEO/Medical Director Emeritus, she provides consultation to the clinical director and participates in the Timberline Knolls Clinical Development Institute and other outreach initiatives. Dr. Dennis maintains a holistic perspective in the practice of psychiatry. She incorporates biological, psycho-social and spiritual approaches into individually-tailored treatment plans. Dr. Dennis is published in the areas of gender differences in the development of psychopathology, co-occurring eating disorders and self-injury, and the use of medication with family-based therapy for adolescents with anorexia nervosa. Dr. Dennis received her undergraduate degree from the University of Chicago. She obtained her medical degree from the University Of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine and completed her psychiatry residency training at the University Of Chicago Hospitals, where she served as chief resident. During her training, she was part of the multi-disciplinary eating disorders team specializing in treating adolescents with anorexia and bulimia and their families. She is a member of the American Medical Association, Academy for Eating Disorders, the American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry and the American Society for Addiction Medicine. She is on the medical advisory board for the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on June 23, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
