How to Help a Friend With an Eating Disorder

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Struggling with an eating disorder can take a difficult toll on someone’s mental, physical, and emotional health. And unfortunately, many people with these conditions struggle alone.

Whether they’re in denial of a problem or actively trying to hide it, people with eating disorders often have a hard time reaching out for help, which is why it’s so important to learn how to help a friend with an eating disorder.

Learning a few common eating disorder signs and tips for helping can go a long way toward getting a loved one the kind of treatment they need.

Common Eating Disorder Signs

Before learning how to help a friend with an eating disorder, it’s important to learn a few common eating disorder signs and symptoms. Understanding what to look out for can help you recognize when there’s a problem, how severe it may be, and the type of condition someone may be struggling with.

If your friend is showcasing these symptoms, it may be a sign that they’re struggling with something and may need help: [1]

Extremely limited food intake
Frequently dieting
Extreme low body weight or fluctuating body weight
Distorted body image (especially thinking one is larger than one is)
Low self-esteem, especially related to body/looks
Strange food rituals
Avoiding meals with others or events involving food
Social isolation
Mood swings
Frequent upset stomach
Sore throat and/or dental problems
Hoarding or hiding food
Inappropriate use of laxatives
Extreme workout or exercise routines
Fixation on nutritional or dietary facts
Frequently checking themselves in the mirror
Bruises, cuts, or calluses on the knuckles (caused by self-induced vomiting)
Frequently leaving or using the bathroom right after a meal

It’s important to remember that there are many different kinds of eating disorders and disordered eating habits, and even people with the same type of condition may present with different symptoms. Just because someone isn’t showing these symptoms doesn’t mean they’re not struggling.

Strategies for Helping Friends with an Eating Disorder

Once you’re more certain that your friend is struggling with an eating disorder, you can focus on ways to help them get the help they need for these dangerous mental health conditions.

Learn More About the Disorder

When it comes to helping a friend with an eating disorder, knowledge is power.

Learning more about the condition your friend is struggling with can help give you a better understanding of how your loved one’s eating disorder is genuinely affecting them. As a better-informed person, you can ask more helpful or specific questions or know to look out for less common warning signs or other issues.

Whether your friend has anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder, bulimia nervosa, or another kind of eating disorder, learning more about it can also help you sympathize with what they’re going through. Eating disorders often affect people in complex ways, and recovery can be a difficult process. Knowing more about what your friend is facing can give you a more realistic idea of what it will take to get them help.

Talk to Them

Talking to your friend about what’s going on is one of the most direct ways to help—but it can also be one of the trickiest. People with eating disorders are often very sensitive about the subject and may have a hard time talking about it.

A few good tips to keep in mind when approaching your friend include: [2]

Rehearsing what you want to say (or even writing it down)
Speaking openly and honestly about your concerns
Using “I” statements or sticking to your personal observations
Avoid passing judgment or blaming your friend for their behaviors
Stick to facts and observations rather than your opinions
Be firm but caring
Avoid commenting on their eating habits, body shape, or body size

It’s also important to pick the right time and place to bring up your concerns. Make sure the two of you have privacy, and your friend isn’t going to be preoccupied with other concerns. [2]

Support Them

It’s more than just talking to your friend that’s helpful. Listening to what your friend has to say is just as, if not more, important.

When you talk to them, make sure they know you’re there for them, a safe space to talk about their concerns or fears. And try to listen more than talk overall, especially if your friend is open to discussing their experience.

There are other ways to support a friend with an eating disorder, such as: [3]

Keep including them in plans, even if they keep saying no
Tell them how much you appreciate them
Talk about their positive qualities that don’t have to do with body weight, size, or looks

Help Them Find Treatment

Perhaps the best way to support a friend with an eating disorder is to help them find the kind of treatment they need.

Although they’re mental health disorders, eating disorders are detrimental to physical health and can cause an enormous amount of emotional pain. They don’t get better on their own and can even be deadly if not treated properly.

You can help your friend search for available treatment centers, doctors’ offices, or therapists who can help. Researching different treatment methods, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), group therapy, or family therapy, can also help give your friend an idea of the best possible treatment path for them.

Taking Care of Yourself

While it’s important and admirable to help a friend with an eating disorder, it’s just as important to take care of yourself during this time. These conditions take a toll not only on the people with them but also on their friends, family members, and loved ones.

Watching someone struggle with something that seems so big during a recovery process that can be slow or unpredictable can be mentally and physically exhausting. And while supporting someone with an eating disorder is crucial, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Make sure you take the time to keep your mind and body feeling healthy, rested, and motivated. Do yoga, hang out with friends, keep a journal, go for walks, play or listen to music, or partake in other enjoyable activities to give back to yourself. Consider looking into support groups for friends or family of those with eating disorders.

Being in a more stable state of mind will help you maintain the strength you need to share with your friend, helping them navigate difficult emotions, disperse negative comments, and work to increase their self-esteem and self-worth.

How to Find Help for An Eating Disorder

Regardless of how much you want to support your friend, the best way to get eating disorders treated, ultimately, is by seeking out professional help.

You can start by speaking with a primary care physician or therapist to schedule an appointment. These professionals can offer an official diagnosis, which opens up the option of joining a treatment program. They can also point you in the direction of nearby programs or put you in touch with specialists who can offer further help.

There are also a number of eating disorder hotlines that can offer more information on eating disorders and treatment centers around you.

When it comes to helping a friend with an eating disorder, the desire to help is the most important. Continuing to show up for them will go a long way toward helping them make a full recovery.

Resources

Eating Disorders. (n.d.) Mayo Clinic. Accessed July 2024.
How do you Help Someone with an Eating Disorder? (n.d.) National Eating Disorders Association. Accessed July 2024.
How to help someone with an eating disorder. (n.d.) National Health Service. Accessed July 2024.

Last Updated July 24, 2024