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Siblings and Eating Disorders: What We Teach Each Other
Article Contributed By: Amy M. Klimek, MA, LCPC, Director of Program Development, Eating Disorder Program Coordinator with Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center
Family Dynamics and Eating Disorders
An eating disorder rarely affects just one person; in the case of an adolescent, the entire family is impacted. Often, siblings feel left out or abandoned, since naturally the family focus is directed toward the “sick” one.
There are many different characteristics that develop when eating disorders are present. However, an eating disorder can influence a female sibling in profound and often unusual ways.
Say a 16-year-old practices restricting behaviors. A younger sister may revere the elder daughter and want to emulate her. She may observe and begin modeling the unhealthy food behaviors.
In some cases, the elder girl may support the behavior by providing advice or tips to the younger one regarding food, exercise, and ideal body image. Or, if bulimia is in the equation, one sister might instruct the other on what “works” for her regarding purging. It is especially important to understand and treat eating disorders in the teen years.
Twin Eating Disorders
Twins offer another interesting scenario in this arena. In a 2000 study published by The American Journal of Psychiatry, researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University studied 2,163 female twins and found that 77 of them suffered from symptoms of anorexia.
When One Has an Eating Disorder
One identical twin may develop an eating disorder such as anorexia as a method of separating herself from the other. This disorder can allow her to be her “own person,” since she is the skinny one.
Or in certain circumstances, twins may both have an eating disorder. The twins, as in other areas such as school and sports, may become competitive with one another, striving to see who can be the “best” anorexic or bulimic.
When They Both Have an Eating Disorder
Conversely, if a family has nearly been destroyed by the presence of a severe eating disorder in a daughter, a sister may swing drastically in the other direction to ensure this pain is not replicated. As an extension of this, she could move into an unhealthy weight range, embracing an equally dangerous, if different, eating disorder.
When a Mother is Overweight
A completely new set of issues can unfold if the mother is overweight and suffers from negative body image and low self-esteem. Sisters, possibly embarrassed or ashamed of their mother’s appearance, may fear looking just like her as an adult.
In turn, they may conspire with one another in the realm of dieting, restricting, and even binging and purging. We have seen cases where the mother actually “turns the other cheek” regarding their unhealthy behaviors.
She may indirectly support her daughters’ actions by “not” addressing the unhealthy behavior; in turn, she may actively validate the “good experience” such as weight loss, exercise obedience, etc. This is not that difficult to imagine.
If a woman has suffered terrible emotional pain due to her size, would not she do almost anything to spare her daughters from experiencing the same?
Everyone is Affected
The bottom line is this: eating disorders affect the entire family. Whether a daughter models a sister’s behavior, rebels completely and moves in another direction, or female children collectively react to their mother’s appearance or behaviors, no one remains untouched. This is exactly why family involvement in treatment is not just encouraged, it should be considered essential.
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Page Last Reviewed and Updated By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on May 6, 2017
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com, Information Help & Resources for Eating Disorders
