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My Teen Son is Developing an Eating Disorder: What Do I Do?
It is every parent’s nightmare for their child to be in danger, faced with a problem that the parent can neither control or understand. If you are reeling from the news that your teen son is developing an eating disorder, take a moment to read on for a few tips on how to intervene.
Start with Support
I am positive that this comes naturally to any parent reading this, but, it must be emphasized.
Supporting your child absolutely means helping them to receive the counseling and treatment services that may be necessary to kick this disorder.
The methodical search for therapists, nutritionists, and treatment centers and the coordination with coaches and teachers will happen later. However, support, first and foremost, begins with simply being there.
It took a lot of courage for your son to tell you what they are going through, especially with the stigma that men with eating disorders experience [1]. So, first, take a moment to be there.
No questions. No judgments. Just a statement that you are proud of them for letting you know and that you will help them through this.
Process Your Feelings
When we hear unpleasant news, we tend to react without thinking. We do not stop ourselves to process how we are feeling and how we can express that in the most supportive manner.
While the intention is to show concern, the response can come off as angry or judgmental. The news that your teen son is developing an eating disorder is more than likely going to cause you to have an immediate reaction.
A practice worth learning for any scenario, including this, is to take a deep breath and then calmly tell your son you hear them, that you’re there for them, and you need a minute to process what you are learning.
This not only models a positive communication and emotional regulation skill for your son, but it gives you the time you need to consider your thoughts and feelings and how you want to communicate them.
Arm Yourself with Knowledge
Once the emotional is ironed out a bit more, Mama/Papa Bear mode can kick-in, and we can begin the search for how to get your child the best care. Research can be scary, but, it can also comfort you by helping you feel more aware of, and in control, of how to handle the problem.
For example, many find comfort in the knowledge that eating disorders among males are not uncommon, with approximately 10 million men in the United States experiencing one in their lifetime [1].
Another comforting bit of information is that the earlier an individual receives support and treatment for their disorder, the better the outcome.
Early intervention for eating disorders is linked to faster recovery speeds, reduction in symptoms after treatment, increased likelihood of maintaining recovery, and a decreased likelihood of needing inpatient or residential treatment [2].
Additionally, studies show that younger males are more willing to engage in eating disorder treatment [3]. By learning that your son is struggling with an eating disorder in his teens, you both have an opportunity to get him the help he needs early on.
Some trusted websites that can help you to find information on eating disorders, eating disorders in males, eating disorders in teens, and treatment are this site (Eating Disorder Hope) or the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA).
In your interactions with your son, as well as in seeking-out treatment, be sure to emphasize a gender-sensitive approach. Men do not experience the world, disordered eating, body image, or treatment the same as women, and studies show treatment is more effective when this is addressed [3].
Before jumping into this scary challenge, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and know that you and your son are both doing the best you can, and that is enough.
Resources:
[1] Unknown (2018). Eating disorders in men and boys. National Eating Disorders Association, retrieved from https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/research-on-males. [2] Unknown. Eating disorders and early intervention. Center for Discovery. Retrieved from https://centerfordiscovery.com/early-intervention-helpful-eating-disorders/. [3] Coelho, J. S. et al. (2018). Eating disorders in biological males: clinical presentation and consideration of sex differences in a pediatric sample. Journal of Eating Disorders, 6:40.
About the Author:
Margot Rittenhouse, MS, PLPC, NCC is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.
As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published on May 28, 2019.
Reviewed & Approved on May 28, 2019, by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
The EatingDisorderHope.com editorial team comprises experienced writers, editors, and medical reviewers specializing in eating disorders, treatment, and mental and behavioral health.
