Talking to your Teen about Seeking Eating Disorder Treatment

This entry was posted in Recovery Support, Treatment Help on by .
Emotional and sad teen

Let’s be honest, talking to your teen about anything presents a challenge as it isn’t the age children are known for opening up to their parents. Add to this to the need to discuss something as serious as seeking eating disorder treatment, and you may be rightly overwhelmed on what to do. As difficult as this conversation may be, there are a few ways you can improve navigating it.

Prepare Ahead of Time for Talking to your Teen

A helpful way to fuel this conversation will be to have information and resources to support your concerns and possible solutions. Reporting to your teen exactly what behaviors are causing you concern will help you to effectively communicate to them where your thoughts are coming from.

Consider looking up problematic symptoms of disordered behaviors as well as articles on when treatment may be necessary as a way to bolster your discussion. Additionally, have resources on-hand regarding the solutions you are proposing.

You may look into treatment centers nearby or those covered by your insurance. This shows your teen that you have given this thoughtful consideration, are willing to learn whatever is necessary to help them, and are there for them as you both work to find a solution.

Consider Time & Location

This conversation is a difficult one. Therefore, considering when and where it happens may help it to go more smoothly. Choose a place where you are both comfortable opening up and can speak openly, such as in their bedroom or a safe room in the home [1].

It is also key to have this conversation outside of an argument or tense moment. Approach your teen when both of you are calm and have time to talk.

Notice Your Language While Talking to your Teen

Boy who's parent needs to talk to their teen

It may feel as if you are walking on eggshells approaching this conversation and, honestly, that isn’t inaccurate. Eating disorders are similar to addictions in that, for those that struggle with them, the disorder may be the only coping skill that they feel is helpful to them.

Approaching them about getting rid of this is scary, making the likelihood of them becoming reactive and defensive higher. Use open, non-judgmental, and calm language and tone to let your teen know that you are there to support them in this journey.

The eating disorder advocacy website BEAT suggests using gentle statements such as “I wondered if you’d like to talk about how you’re feeling” as opposed to “you need to get help [1].” How you approach this conversation can make all the difference in how your teen responds.

Strike a Balance Between Compassion & Assertiveness

As a parent, you are likely adept at finding this balance. For this conversation, compassion can help talking to your teen feel less like an attack and increase the likelihood that they will open up and have a genuine conversation with you about their disorder.

Talking at them, telling them how you think they feel or should feel, and not listening to their perspective will not be effective. Be open to hearing their experience and thoughts and what solutions they are comfortable with.

Even so, you can do everything right, lead with non-judgment and compassion, find the most comfortable place and time, and your teen may still refuse to entertain the idea of going into treatment.

At this moment, it will be a challenge for you to remain compassionate while asserting what you feel is best. If you believe your child needs to enter treatment and their medical doctor, therapist, or school psychologist agree, a line may need to be drawn.

Assert to your child that you are there to support them and love them but to also make the difficult decisions when it is was is best for their mental and physical health and that, as such, they will be entering treatment.

Remind your child that these disorders are deadly and that you are not willing to let them continue down such a dangerous road because you love them deeply. Ensure that you are not taking this decision lightly and are working to find the safest and best treatment you can.

They may not understand at the moment; however, time, treatment, and recovery will help them to see that, in a moment when they could not fight for themselves, you fought for them.

Resources:

[1] Unknown (2020). Worried about a friend or family member. BEAT Eating Disorders, retrieved from https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/supporting-someone/worried-about-friend.

About the Author:

Image of Margot Rittenhouse.Margot Rittenhouse, MS, PLPC, NCC is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.

As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Published October 28, 2020, on EatingDisorderHope.com
Reviewed & Approved on October 28, 2020, by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC