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Learning to Say No in Recovery and Protect Personal Boundaries
Many individuals who have struggled with an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia, may have common personality traits that may have made them more susceptible to developing this disorder in the first place. Research has shown that some personality traits, which may be driven by genetics, such as obsessiveness, perfectionism, and neuroticism, may contribute to the development of behaviors associated with eating disorders [1]. In addition, individuals with eating disorders are more likely to be “people-pleasers” and extremely self-critical, which can be a potentially dangerous combination.
Blurring The Lines of Personal Boundaries
The combination of these character and personality traits can make it difficult to establish healthy personal boundaries when it comes to relationships and engaging with other people. For example, a person who has the tendency to “people-please” along with perfectionism might go beyond what they are reasonably capable of in order to try to make another person happy or to live up to a self-imposed standard of perfectionism.
In combination with an eating disorder, such as anorexia, poor boundaries can trigger eating disorder behaviors that perpetuate a vicious cycle.
Being in recovery from an eating disorder does not necessarily mean trying to change who you might be as a person, but rather, learning how to more effectively develop coping skills and use ingrained personality traits for good.
Developing healthy personal boundaries, especially if poor boundaries have been enabled for sometime, may be difficult to establish. However, learning how to keep recovery a priority means putting self-care first and saying no to people and things that are not beneficial to your ongoing recovery efforts.
Finding Support When Needed
As you begin the recovery process, you may learn that relationships you once thought were healthy are actually toxic to your healing or that patterns or behaviors you had previously engaged in are weighing down your efforts. This can be a confusing and overwhelming process, but you do not need to navigate through this alone.
Work closely with your therapist to process the past, present and future and learn how to re-establish boundaries in your own life that are conducive to your recovery efforts. You will learn over time how to say yes to what is supporting you and let go of things that are hindering recovery.
Community Discussion – Share Your Thoughts Here!
What has helped you learn to establish healthy boundaries in your own recovery journey?
About the Author: Crystal is a Masters-level Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with a specialty focus in eating disorders, maternal/child health and wellness, and intuitive eating. Combining clinical experience with a love of social media and writing, Crystal serves as the Director of Content and Social Media for Eating Disorder Hope/Addiction Hope, where her passion to help others find recovery and healing is integrated into each part of her work.
As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, Crystal has dedicated her career to helping others establish a healthy relationship with food and body through her work with EDH/AH and nutrition private practice.
References:
[1]: Engel, Bridget, PsyD, et al. Causes of Eating Disorders – Personality Traits and Skill Deficits https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/causes-of-eating-disorders-personality-traits-and-skill-deficits/The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on December 27, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
Baxter Ekern is the President of Eating Disorder Hope. He is responsible for the management and operations of Eating Disorder Hope. Baxter has been lending his services to Eating Disorder Hope for several years but came on board as the full-time president in November 2016.
