Tips and Guidance for Long-Term Anorexia Nervosa Recovery

Is Recovery from an Eating Disorder Possible

As many of you may know, I’ve shared my story many times on Eating Disorder Hope. I am someone who proves recovery from an eating disorder is possible.

I battled anorexia myself as a teenager, and that is where a lot of my insights and thoughts on this topic come from as well as things I have learned over the last decade hearing incredible stories of survivors as well as the knowledge of this disease from clinicians.

I started to struggle with anorexia when I was about 12-years old, and my parents got me into treatment around the age of 15 or 16.

I got into an excellent outpatient treatment facility in the Metro Detroit area for two good, solid years before I was at a place where my doctors were like “alright, you’re set and ready to move on.” With this, I gained helpful tools to put in my tool belt to face the world again.

However, the reason we are discussing long-term care today is that you can struggle with, and overcome, something in your teens and still have aspects of it that come up again later in life.

Different seasons bring different challenges, and, so, it is necessary to ask yourself, “how do I build a foundation in treatment so that I can have recovery that lasts?” This leads us to another question that I was confronted with as soon as I went to my first National Eating Disorders Association conference at the age of 18.

I had gone as a volunteer because I wanted to soak up as much information in the ED community as I could and, as someone who had just recently gotten out of outpatient treatment, the same question kept popping into my mind.

“Is full recovery from an eating disorder possible?”

It is astounding that this is still a question within the eating disorder community.

Whether it is anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or a combination of many different issues, there are still many differing opinions from people with much more clinical and academic experience than myself.

Many people’s opinions differ on to what extent is someone “completely” free from an eating disorder for the rest of their life?

There is also this tension between what the more hopeful message is for those in the midst of their struggle.

Is it more hopeful, when you’re in the depths of the struggle, despair, and darkness, to hear, “yes, there will be a day when this is completely gone, when you are free from every thought, you are completely normal again, there is lasting freedom, etc.?”

Or, is it more helpful to tell someone who is in the struggle and the grind of therapy, who is working toward the goal of having zero eating disorder thoughts but feels that goal is constantly so far away, that they will never fully achieve that freedom and lessen that pressure?

I have heard opinions on both sides of the spectrum.

All I can tell you is that, for me, it was most hopeful to hear that I could be truly free from this disease. I heard this from mentors of mine and saw how they modeled that to me.

What it meant to me was not that they didn’t have bad days, not that they never felt anxious or depressed or inadequate, not that there weren’t temptations, but that the emotions and the voice inside saying, “no, if I go back to that I will die.”

The strength to go through it and get to my healthy-self was much more powerful than any of those thoughts or moments.

I believe that recovery is completely, 100%, possible, and I know this because I experience it in my daily life. That is, I know the freedom that I experience.

I can still feel, in my gut and the pit of my stomach, what it felt like to be completely at the end of myself and in my darkest moment. But, I also feel, in my gut, that it is not compatible or possible to live in that space.

I still have bad days, and challenging seasons, I know that going back to my eating disorder behaviors is not the answer. The “Healthy Voice,” thank God, is stronger than the eating disorder voice.

Unfortunately, because of a lack of access to care, stigma, and a whole host of other reasons, only a 3rd of the people struggling with anorexia actually receive treatment and go on to recover.

But, I also believe that the more we talk about, legislate, and advocate for this cause, that number will increase.

I think the fact that the possibility of recovery is still such a lingering question points to the fact that this is such an individual issue.

Everyone has a very different experience when it comes to how recovery from an eating disorder will affect them and their lives.

Crucial Aspects for Long-Lasting Recovery from Anorexia

I firmly believe that Long-Lasting Recovery from Anorexia is possible, but what does it look like?

In this series, I want to go over three main aspects that can help you establish a foundation for achieving and maintaining lasting recovery over a lifetime.

I want to begin by saying I have a lot of humility in reporting this because I am only 29-years-old. So, I may not have the sage wisdom that other experts who have been in the field longer have.

What I can tell you is what has worked in my own, and my mentor’s, experiences.

Self-Worth

My first important suggestion is to find a sense of self-worth outside of or beyond your eating disorder. Eating disorders, and especially anorexia because of its ritualism, become like a religion.

It is a fortress that the individual builds themselves around whether for control, safety, security, significance, etc. The wall becomes built, and the individual spend all of their time adding stones to it to make it harder, firmer, stronger, and more deeply rooted.

Anyone who attempts to knock down that wall is going to be perceived as an enemy because they are stripping away the foundation of the identity you have created for yourself in your eating disorder.

Ultimately, however, this identity is based on lies. Lies about what you can achieve, what can accomplish, about your dignity, your value, and your intrinsic worth as a human being.

So, how do we find an identity outside of this? This is for what the recovery process is intended.

Personally, I built my “anorexic fortress” around my identity as a ballet dancer. For me, looking like a ballerina and remaining thin became my entire identity.

It was a huge part of my struggle and one of the main reasons it began; I didn’t know who I was or what gifts or skills I had outside of being a ballerina.

In working with my therapist, I realized I could not stay in that world and be healthy, so I had to withdraw. That took a lot of time, tears, hard work, and support from my family, friends, and treatment team.

I began to explore other things that I enjoyed, which took awhile at first. I started to pursue things I really loved like history, reading, writing, singing, drama.

I also plugged back into my faith. I had been raised as a Christian. For a long time, I had rejected my Bible, and God was just kind of up there in the sky for me. I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him.

I had a really good girl-friend who recommended a book to me about what it means to be a woman, especially through the eyes of God, and that opened my eyes completely.

I began gaining an understanding of who I was as a daughter of God and that was hugely transformational for me to begin creating my identity outside of my eating disorder and to see that I was of value and worth outside of my illness.

I learned that I had other talents and skills and that I was smart and could be good at other things.

My faith helped me explore while feeling supported and I was able to take my thoughts, cares, concerns, prayers, and worries to something bigger than myself. It helped me to get out of this flesh and blood and the very physical experience of the eating disorder.

I looked into the mirror and found that no one could take that away from me, that was a huge revelation.

I would encourage you to do the same exploring for yourself, to find a sense of purpose and worth beyond the eating disorder.

Ask yourself questions such as, “what else do I enjoy,” “what else do I love?” Ask for feedback from trusted friends and family, “what do I do?” “What am I?” “What Characteristics do I have that make you smile/that you see that are beautiful in me that have nothing to do with my body?”

Talk about it with your therapist and engage in that conversation because only once you discover and know deep in yourself that you have a sense of self-worth outside of the eating disorder can you put one foot in front of the other to move toward recovery.

Challenges in Anorexia Recovery and Overcoming Them

With eating disorders, there comes a tendency for black-and-white thinking and a need for perfectionism. This thinking can also, sometimes, flow over to how we view recovery, wanting to exhibit perfection in recovery, and creating challenges in anorexia recovery

This can lead to a lot of negative self-talk and blame on ourselves if we don’t feel like we’re perfectly living recovered every single day or that, if there is a challenge or you hear the eating disordered voice, that you have completely failed in recovery.

First of all, that’s absolutely not true. Second of all, we should always expect challenges.

A clinician can provide a very clinical diagnosis but what is considered to be relapse is often very subjective. Some may feel as if being tempted alone is considered a relapse while others may not.

Whether you consider it a relapse or a challenge, expect that there will be trying times in your recovery. This is especially true when a new season of life comes up.

For example, I struggled when I was 12 to 15 years old and spent those two years in outpatient treatment. When I became Miss America, that was a great blessing but also a huge life challenge.

When my time as Miss America was up, I had to transition to going back to school, and being 22 years old, I was older than all of my classmates – another big challenge.

I got married at 23 and moved to New York and began working in television news and media – a big challenge.

Just recently, I ended a five-year, very difficult, marriage and I’m recently divorced – yet another huge challenge.

Life does not stop for any of us. All of us are busy and have triumphs, successes, and joys in our lives as well as bitter failures.

I may get married again, and I may have children one day. I’m traveling right now and want to learn a new language. There are so many things and seasons of life that I have yet to go through such as middle-age, menopause, etc.

You never know what challenges and changes life will bring you. We sometimes wear blinders to the fact that we think life is going to be easy, and it isn’t, even if we are healthy.

We have to consider what we will do and how we can be proactive to make sure that those challenges do not derail us into a severe relapse so that we can continue the work we did in recovery.

I recommend three daily practices to help prepare for challenges. These are the first two.

Reject Rigidity

This has been hugely helpful in my life and was one of the biggest things that my therapist worked with me on in my initial round of treatment. Rigidity, at that time, ruled my life and not just in relation to my eating disorder. It ruled my schoolwork, my schedule, my routine, and my ritualism.

Rules ruled everything. Rules are not always a bad thing, but the rigidity that having too many rules can create and be a source of anxiety.

I have tried to combat this by putting in place people or things in my life that challenge me to be more spontaneous and to go with the flow.

For example, I have learned to have a healthy and positive relationship to exercise in my recovery, and a few days ago, I was with a friend bike riding around the area I live in Switzerland.

We went up into the mountains, which was my first time doing so, and enjoyed the trails and the beauty. We went up a big hill, and it was a good challenge, then we went up another and then a third and I started to get frustrated.

I’m in pretty good shape heart-wise, but my brain started to get nervous, “okay, what’s the plan, how long is this route, when are we going to go back, how many more hills, how long have we been going, how much longer will we be out here?”

My brain was going on its own ride, and it was removing me from enjoying the scenery and the ride. “How many more hills are there?” “I’m going to have to reserve my energy.”

A friend, who knows me very well said, “it doesn’t matter, just enjoy,” but that is not what my brain wanted to do. Eventually, I just had to laugh at myself and focus on being grateful and chilling out.

My friend said, “maybe 30 more minutes” and that gave me just enough not to have to worry anymore how many more hills there were and to be in the present.

This is just one small example of how we are so addicted to schedules and routines and a needing to know all the answers or what the plan is going to be. But we aren’t going to know everything in life, and that is okay.

So, try to put yourself in relationships and situations where you are challenged to be spontaneous and go with the flow.

Cultivate a Practice of Gratitude

This is also much easier said than done.

We live in a very capitalistic society and are constantly bombarded with marketing messages that tell us we’re not thin enough, pretty enough, don’t have enough, don’t make enough money, don’t have enough status, etc.

We are force-fed the idea that there is always something better, something more to achieve, more places to go, more person to be. That you aren’t okay the way, you are.

If you just had this experience or this body, then you would be happy. We are very discontent as a culture. After all, that is how our economy runs.

Gratitude isn’t good for the economy because then people wouldn’t buy all of the self-help books, the diet plans, the cosmetics and creams, the luxury cars, an extra home, there is just no end.

I cultivate gratitude by, first, minimizing my time on-line and two, not turning on the television as much.

I haven’t watched TV in two or three weeks, instead embracing quiet and stillness, taking time in nature, practicing mindfulness. All of these things can be helpful in cultivating gratitude.

Take a second to look around and say, ‘I’ve got breath in my lungs, the sun is shining, I have two legs that I am able to walk on, I have eyesight, I can hear.”

Be grateful for the most basic things.

Stay Connected in Anorexia Recovery

Stay Connected. I mean this in two ways.

One, it is essential to stay connected to your treatment team or to professionals that are experts in eating disorders. No matter where you go, make sure you have access to a part of your team or someone who is knowledgeable so that, if a challenge does arise, you have someone to call.

This doesn’t mean that you aren’t recovered or that you’re weak or have failed. It doesn’t mean you are teetering on the brink of relapse. It means that you are smart and taking care of yourself.

Anyone and everyone that has struggled with an eating disorder knows that the way you stay strong is knowing that you have that safety net of trusted people. Those that support you and look out for you.

I also mean to stay connected with other people when I say this. For me, isolation was a massive feeder of my lies. When the only voice is your eating disorder, it can be easy to slip back into eating disorder tendencies.

Stay open, stay connected, talk to people on the phone instead of just texting, push yourself to get out of the house. Even if you are an introvert, push yourself out of that comfort zone sometimes.

You never know who you might meet or run into, you may have an illuminating experience or conversation.

Stay connected to human beings, real flesh-and-blood human beings, not just social media. Have relationships with people, be vulnerable, open yourself up to them, hear them.

Finally, know and remember that there is no shame allowed in the recovery process. Everyone’s journey to freedom, and whatever freedom is to you, is different.

Often, we get into disordered eating behaviors because we are comparing ourselves to others and it does not serve us. Why would we do the same in recovery?

Don’t compare your own process to another’s. Your journey to freedom is yours alone.

Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, intellectually, physically, life is going to bring a lot of storms and challenges our way which might lead to distressing times and temptations to revert back to eating disorder behaviors so don’t feel shame when that happens.

You’ve got tools in your tool belt, and you have support.

You’ve got this.

When you are able to stay connected, to open up, to admit your vulnerability, then you can stay true to long-lasting recovery.

Honor your own authentic experience.

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Source:

Virtual Presentation by Kirsten Haglund in the Dec. 7, 2017 Eating Disorder Hope Inaugural Online Conference: “Virtual Hope for Eating Disorder Recovery”

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About the Author: Kirsten Haglund is an international speaker, mental health advocate, and digital media strategist. Through her media and communications company, En Pointe, she works with a diverse group of clients in both the profit and non-profit sectors increasing social engagement and scalability, social listening, communications training, spokesperson work increasing brand awareness.

Kirsten serves as a media spokesperson, speaker, and Director of Global Business Development and Digital Media for Eating Disorder Hope & Addiction Hope. She is also Community Relations Specialist for Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center and is Founder and President of the Kirsten Haglund Foundation.

She also does political analysis across television news networks and radio, including on MSNBC, CNN International, Fox Business Network, and Fox News Channel. Her Op-Eds on politics, culture and non-profit advocacy have appeared in the New York Daily News, Forbes.com, Huff Post and in industry journals.

She served as Miss America 2008 and Goodwill Ambassador for Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. Kirsten graduated from Emory University with a B.A. in Political Science and is currently based in Zürich, Switzerland.

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About the Transcript Editor: Margot Rittenhouse is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.

As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.

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The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Published on November 7, 2018.
Reviewed & Approved on November 7, 2018 by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC

Published on EatingDisorderHope.com