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Learning How to Practice Self-care when You’re Caring for Your Family
Contributor: Leigh Bell, BA, writer for Eating Disorder Hope
You can’t call in sick to parenting. It doesn’t matter if you have the measles, mumps, the flu, broken bones, or a broken heart, you’re still Mom or Dad with a job to do.
Even when you’re recovering from an eating disorder.
To balance your family’s needs with your own, you can develop a self-care practice. Self-care is intentional actions you do to nourish your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Practicing self-care regularly is difficult for most of us, who often push ourselves more than we care for ourselves.
Self-care is typically very challenging for those struggling with an eating disorder, which already abuses, not cares, for their bodies. Many people with eating disorders are also self-critical, self-degrading, and hard on themselves.
Developing a daily, self-care practice may be a tough order, but it’s helpful when you’re recovering from an eating disorder amid the endless demands of your family.
Try starting by telling yourself that you’re worth it. You deserve a break. You deserve to concentrate on you, what you want and need, and your recovery. I know, it’s not easy. You may not believe it, but just try saying it. Because, you know what? It’s the truth.
Now look at what self-care practices will address each part of you: physical, mental, and spiritual – your body, head, and heart.
Your Body
We’ve beat it up enough, haven’t we? When recovering from an eating disorder, your body is healing from prolonged neglect and abuse, and you can facilitate its recuperation.
Food: Follow your meal plan provided by your treatment team. Even when it’s hard. Even when it seems impossible. It won’t feel this way forever.
Exercise: Again, be good to your body. Follow your treatment plan, and allow your body to heal.
Sleep: Eating disorders have a way of smuggling our sleep, so attempt to get some now that you’re recovering.
Indulge: Take a long bath. Get a massage. Stretch. Allow your body to feel good.
Your Mind
Chances are, your mind has been racing with eating-disordered obsessions and negative thinking. This is how eating disorders control us. Again, give your mind a break.
Whittle it down: Parenting stretches us thin, and this is the selfless beauty of it. Still, you probably have a plate or two, maybe more, you can stop spinning up there. Make a list of your roles: mother, father, wife, husband, employee, employer, soccer coach, carpooler, homeroom parent, etc. Which of these are most important, and which of these can you shelve while you focus on recovery?
Let it rest: Our minds tend to relax when our hands are busy. Is there a craft or hobby you’ve had or would like to start? Crochet, woodwork, gardening, drawing, pottery, etc.? This type of activity will allow your mind to take a backseat to your hands.
Your Soul
Self-care of the soul means reaching outside of our physical being, outside of our bodies, to connect with something greater. There’s no formal for this because we are all outrageously and beautifully unique.
This could be religion-based. Maybe your soul is replenished with prayer or going to church. But it doesn’t have to be. Being with my friend of 30 years is soul food to me because I am connected to love and acceptance.
Helping others brings us outside of ourselves and puts us in touch with our souls. Meditation. Listening to music. Taking a warm bath. If you don’t know where to start, go to your breath. This is essence of life and the most basic escape we have. Breathe deeply in and out 10 or 15 times, and then look at the world again.
Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!
How do you practice self-care in your eating disorder recovery?
About the Author: Leigh Bell holds a Bachelor of Arts in English with minors in Creative Writing and French from Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. She is a published author, journalist with 15 years of experience, and a recipient of the Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism. Leigh is recovered from a near-fatal, decade-long battle with anorexia and the mother of three young, rambunctious children.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on December 16, 2015
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
The EatingDisorderHope.com editorial team comprises experienced writers, editors, and medical reviewers specializing in eating disorders, treatment, and mental and behavioral health.
