Honoring Food Allergies with Family Members

Contributor: Courtney Howard, B.A., Executive Assistant at Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope

If a friend or loved one has strict food allergies and intolerances, it might be triggering for you. It can be challenging to be presented with other people’s food restrictions when you are fresh into recovery. This is okay and can be processed with your treatment team to ensure your own food behaviors are not affected.

Food Allergies and Intolerances

It might seem like the terms “food allergy” and “food intolerance” are interchangeable, but the reality is that they hold many distinct differences.

As the American Academy of Allergy Asthma & Immunology (AAAAI) states, food intolerances can cause very unpleasant effects on the digestive system. However, a food allergy means the body’s immune system is attacking the substance in question. Depending on the severity of the allergy, this can be life-threatening.

Common side effects of food allergies include hives, skin swelling, vomiting, diarrhea, and anaphylaxis. In some people, the food does not even have to be consumed for these allergic reactions to occur. For example, if someone eats a peanut butter sandwich then gets into a carpool and breathes in close proximity to a friend with a severe peanut allergy, this indirect contact could trigger anaphylactic shock.

What if this is Triggering?

If you have recently discharged from treatment or are otherwise beginning your road to recovery, it can be triggering to be met with a family member’s intense dietary restrictions. Some families revise their own eating habits to facilitate their loved one’s allergies. For you, this is not an option. You can eat your own food and still respect your family member.

It is okay to discuss with a family member why their allergies are triggering for you. It might seem strange to them, and they might even feel hurt. This is because the concept likely seems foreign to them. You can help by explaining that you cannot impose food restrictions on yourself to fit their allergies because you are learning to have freedom with food. If you feel comfortable, explain the nature of eating disorders and why not having food rules anymore is essential to your recovery.

Speak with your treatment team if this becomes an issue within your family. If you are triggered, it is important to understand why and address these triggers head-on. This strips them of their power.

Relationship Between Food Allergies and Eating Disorders

The connection between food intolerances or allergies and eating disorders is not new, but it has grown stronger with the rise of orthorexia and “clean” eating. Individuals are quick to cut entire food groups from their diets in the name of food intolerances.

Many people excuse their disordered food behaviors in this way. A common example is the “gluten-free diet.” This is not to say that everyone who claims to have a food allergy or intolerance is simply disguising an eating disorder. Food allergies are common and can be life-threatening. It is important to respect anyone’s food allergies, whether you believe they are real or not.

If an individual is predisposed to developing an eating disorder and is diagnosed with a food allergy or intolerance, this can be a trigger for disordered food behaviors. It can also establish a fear of food, which is common among those with eating disorders. This is especially likely if someone has had serious allergic reactions in the past, as it establishes the notion that food cannot be trusted. This concept is very dangerous and can lead to disordered thoughts and behaviors surrounding food.

What should I do?

If you are in recovery and want to honor a family member’s food allergies or intolerances, you can do so without jeopardizing your own healthy and intuitive relationship with eating. There is no rule book that says you must conform to someone else’s dietary restrictions in order to respect them, or else vegans and carnivores would never be able to coexist.

If you notice disordered food behaviors not related to your family member’s specific allergy, it is okay to check in with them and make sure this is not the beginning stages of an eating disorder. Doing so with sensitivity and love might help the individual realize that the allergy has colored his or her relationship with food.

Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!

Have you found other’s food restrictions are triggering to you in your recovery? What has helped you deal with this issue in your journey?

About the Author: Courtney Howard is the Executive Assistant for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope. She graduated summa cum laude with a B.A. from San Diego State University, holds a paralegal certificate in Family Law, and is a Certified Domestic Violence Advocate. After obtaining her certification as a life coach, Courtney launched Lionheart Eating Disorder Recovery Coaching in 2015 and continues to be a passionate advocate for awareness and recovery.

The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on June 28, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com

Eating Disorder Hope Staff

The EatingDisorderHope.com editorial team comprises experienced writers, editors, and medical reviewers specializing in eating disorders, treatment, and mental and behavioral health.