After Eating Disorder Treatment, is Marriage Better or Worse?

When a couple commits to one another, “through sickness and health until death do us part,” there is often minimal understanding of the gravity of this statement until one actually goes through it. Walking with someone you love through sickness, whether physical, mental or both, can be overwhelming, painful, and challenging.

Having a spouse who has an eating disorder, such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating disorder, can stretch your marriage in ways that you could never have anticipated.

Seeking out eating disorder treatment is an important step toward healing and recovery, but can this help repair a marriage that may have suffered as a result?

Supporting a Spouse With an Eating Disorder

Whether your spouse had an eating disorder before your marriage or if the eating disorder developed during the marriage, this can bring a host of unexpected challenges. A person with an eating disorder will often attempt to disguise their behaviors and struggles, especially from those closest to them.

While you may have been aware of odd behaviors or tendencies in your spouse, you may not have been able to fully acknowledge the severity of their illness until things rapidly begin declining.

In some situations, a health scare, missing food, mood/personality changes, financial troubles and more may trigger the realization and discussion of the more problematic issue. Even if you suspect that your spouse may be dealing with an eating disorder, you may be unsure about how to approach the issue or help connect your spouse to the treatment needed for recovery.

The strain in marital relationships caused by eating disorders can quickly become overwhelming, especially without professional intervention. You may wonder what happened to the person you married, how they could deteriorate so quickly, or whether or not your marriage can survive the challenges you are facing.

Finding Hope in Recovery and Treatment

Eating disorder treatment can be the first step toward healing and restoring a marriage that has been challenged by these mental illnesses. Because eating disorders are chronic diseases by nature, treatment can take months or years, depending on the severity of the illness.

For the majority of individuals with eating disorders, treatment can take three to seven years to establish full recovery [1]. This can be daunting for a spouse of an individual with recovery, especially in searching for some sense of normalcy within a marriage relationship and home life.

If your spouse is recovering from an eating disorder, it may be helpful to adjust your expectations for the recovery and treatment process.

Being involved in treatment from the onset can be a positive factor in the recovery process. In addition, it is important for the non-affected spouse to consider seeking out accompanying support adjust to the individual’s own treatment [2].

Having a spouse with an eating disorder will undoubtedly bring up questions, frustrations, feelings of resentment, sadness, bitterness, etc.

However, having a safe place to process these emotions, ask questions, as well as explore the relational issues of the eating disorder are also important aspects of the overall treatment process [3].

Family therapy, including marital therapy, is often indicated for a couple going through the recovery process, and it is important to work with an eating disorder specialist to devise a specialized plan for recovery.

Restoring a Marriage

Eating disorders are devastating illnesses that take a toll, not just on the individual suffering but on those closest to them, including a spouse. Seeking out eating disorder treatment can provide the resources and support needed, not only for physical and mental healing but for the restoration of a marriage as well.

While the process is long, arduous, and often painful, a couple who is willing to work together under the guidance of eating disorder specialists can begin to heal and repair their relationship.

If your spouse has been struggling with an eating disorder, it is important to know that you are not alone. There are many eating disorder treatment resources that can support recovery and healing, not just from the eating disorder itself, but for your marriage.

Reach out to an eating disorder specialist to determine the most effective course of action for your loved one and know that there is hope for recovery.

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About the Author: Crystal Karges, MS, RDN, IBCLC is a Contributing Writer for Eating Disorder Hope.

Crystal is a Masters-level Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with a specialty focus in eating disorders, maternal/child health and wellness, and intuitive eating. Combining clinical experience with a love of social media and writing. As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, Crystal has dedicated her career to helping others establish a healthy relationship with food and body through her work with EDH and nutrition private practice.

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References:

[1]: Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, “Treatment and Recovery”, https://www.anred.com/tx.html Accessed 17 July 2017
[2]: Leichner P, et al. Adjunctive group support for spouses of women with anorexia nervosa and/or bulimia. Int J Eating Dis 4:227-235, 1985
[3]: Stephan Van den Broucke, et al. Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa in Married Patients: A Review. Comprehensive Psychiatry, Vol 29, No. 2 (March/April), 1988: pp 165-173

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The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.

We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.

Published on September 24, 2017.
Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on September 24, 2017.
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com