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Coping with Feelings of Grief
Grief is a profound emotion that can be painful to hold and even more painful to let go of. While most of us will experience grief or loss in our lifetime, we are often not prepared for it.
Grief can blindside us and hold on tightly if we do not do our own work to process it. Consider these suggestions as you cope with your grief.
Acknowledge Your Grief
Our culture has a skewed perception that true grief is only related to loss through death. Any other grief experience is seen as less valid or painful, and this simply isn’t true.
Grief can be felt with any loss, whether it be the loss of a job, relationship, lifestyle, or future plan. When we lose anything that was once an important part of our life and story, we feel that loss deeply.
If you are struggling with grief, do not minimize or compare this to any other person or event. Your grief is real for you, and that means you deserve to express it so that you can process it.
Grieve in Your Way
This goes along with the importance of experiencing your grief as it is, not how others say it “should” be. Grief can be dangerous when it is not processed, as it can result in further mental health disorders and daily life changes.
Researchers have long attempted to look at grief from a more scientific perspective to help categorize its stages and symptoms. For example, some believe in the distinction of “uncomplicated” vs. “complicated” grief.
“Uncomplicated grief” is grief that occurs but in which an individual’s grief is “progressing adaptively [1].” “Complicated” grief, also often referred to as “unresolved” or “traumatic” grief, would be “prolonged and intense grief that is associated with substantial impairment in work, health, and social functioning. [1].”
People also often refer to “5 Stages of Grief” – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance [2]. These distinctions can help mental health professionals determine where a patient is and how to best support them.
However, for an average person coping with grief, it is easy to get mired in the technicality of these distinctions and stages and create pressure around what their grieving “should” look like. By all means, use these labels and theories to gain insight into your own experience, but don’t use them as an instruction manual for grieving.
The emotions experienced in the 5 stages are not linear. One moment, you may be feeling more accepting, and the next thing you know, you are overwhelmed by denial again. Allow yourself the freedom to openly experience each part of your grief journey as it is for you.
Ask for Support
Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a job, or a plan that you had to cancel (as many are struggling with during COVID), you are worthy of help and support.
Reach out to your supportive loved ones or mental health professionals and make them aware of how this loss is impacting you and what you need from them, if you know.
If you don’t know, simply letting them know you are having a tough time can be a helpful start. Just don’t try to do this alone, not because you can’t, it is possible that you could.
Don’t try to process and overcome grief alone because you do not have to. You are not alone, and there is support out there for you.
Resources:
[1] Zisook, S., Shear, K. (2009). Grief and bereavement: what psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry, 8:2. [2] Axelrod, J. (2020). The 5 stages of grief and loss. Psych Central, retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/.About the Author:
Margot Rittenhouse, MS, PLPC, NCC is a therapist who is passionate about providing mental health support to all in need and has worked with clients with substance abuse issues, eating disorders, domestic violence victims, and offenders, and severely mentally ill youth.
As a freelance writer for Eating Disorder Hope and Addiction Hope and a mentor with MentorConnect, Margot is a passionate eating disorder advocate, committed to de-stigmatizing these illnesses while showing support for those struggling through mentoring, writing, and volunteering. Margot has a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University.
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective on eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published October 30, 2020, on EatingDisorderHope.com
Reviewed & Approved on October 30, 2020, by Jacquelyn Ekern MS, LPC
