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Clothes Shopping with Family Members Who are in ED Recovery
Contributor: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW, writer for Eating Disorder Hope
For individuals who are in recovery from an eating disorder the activity of shopping for clothing can often be highly triggering. Their “eating disorder voice” may become increasingly loud as they are trying on clothing or observing themselves in the mirror. Especially for those who are in early recovery or intensely struggling with their eating disorder, shopping for clothing can be an upsetting process.
Eating disorders are caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. It is important to note that families do not cause eating disorders. Further, family members can be incredible allies for those who are in recovery from an eating disorder. The following are some tips for individuals who wish to support their family member in recovery from an eating disorder by assisting them in shopping for clothing.
Three Ways to Support Your Family Member
1. Help them to come up with a list of their triggers (related to clothing shopping) prior to the trip.
If your family member is interested in doing so, it could be useful to collaborate with them in coming up with a list of their triggers before going on the clothing-shopping trip. This way they can prepare in advance how they might cope with situations or things that could trigger them. Knowing one’s triggers in advance is a helpful way to alleviate some of the anxiety prior to a stressful event. Additionally, you could help them to come up with a list of coping skills and strategies for the different triggers that they might encounter.
2. Ask them what you can do to support them.
Rather than assuming what your family member needs from you in the moment, it can be helpful to say something like, “I love you and want to support you. What would be the best way for me to support you on this trip?” Asking the person what they need from you is the best way to ensure that you are supporting them in an effective way, as what is helpful for one individual in recovery could be highly triggering for another.
3. Refrain from making comments about their body.
This one may seem obvious, but try to refrain from making any comments about the person’s body while clothing shopping. Their eating disorder often will try to twist any comment that is made into a negative sentiment. For instance, often their eating disorder may perceive a well-intentioned comment, such as “you look great” or “you look so healthy,” as an insult.
Someone with an eating disorder is usually entrenched in negative thoughts about their weight and body. Therefore, it can be helpful to pay them a compliment that has nothing to do with their outward appearance. A more helpful statement might be, “You look much happier,” or “You seem to be more at peace with yourself.”
As a family member to someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder, your support throughout different and potentially triggering moments can be invaluable. It is crucial that you stress to them that you know that they are not choosing to have an eating disorder, however you are so happy that they are on a path to recovery.
Laura Collins discussed supporting a daughter in her recovery from anorexia when she stated,
“I’m immensely proud of my daughter. She did not choose her illness, and needed us to step in, but the reality is that she had to take up her own recovery at some point and eventually she was able to do that and has done it spectacularly. She is my hero, and my husband and I are proud to have supported her-we do not take credit for her recovery, only for making it possible. And we feel passionately that parents need to know that treatment option exists and let them make a reasoned choice for their family.” [1]
With the right support, full recovery from an eating disorder is entirely possible. No one chooses to have an eating disorder, however they can choose to start on the journey of recovery at anytime. There is always hope.
Community Discussion – Share your thoughts here!
What tips do you have for encouraging someone struggling with an eating disorder during shopping?
About the author: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW is a therapist, body-image activist, and writer who specializes in working with adolescents, body image concerns, survivors of trauma, and mood disorders. Jennifer is a blogger for The Huffington Post and Psychology Today, as well as a contributing writer for Eating Disorder Hope. For body-positive, self-love, inspiration, “like” her on Facebook at Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW.
References:
[1]: Collins, L. (n.d.). If I knew then what I know now. Retrieved from: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/stories-of-hope/if-i-knew-then-what-i-know-now-laura-collinsThe opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Last Updated & Reviewed By: Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC on June 29, 2016
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
The EatingDisorderHope.com editorial team comprises experienced writers, editors, and medical reviewers specializing in eating disorders, treatment, and mental and behavioral health.
