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Bargaining in Eating Disorder Recovery
Contributor: Camille Williams, MA, NCC, LCPC, Eating Disorder Program Coordinator at Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center
Bargaining in Eating Disorder Recovery
Eating disorder recovery is a grieving process. The individual needs to let go of behaviors that once provided a sense of relief, control, protection, comfort, and many other things. It is not easy to cope with other losses in life, and losing an eating disorder is no different.
Connecting to the stages of grief is a way to validate the multitude of feelings that surface throughout the recovery process. While anger and depression are a significant part of grief in ED recovery, bargaining is utilized very frequently.
Bargaining in ED recovery often sounds like, “I will follow my meal plan only if my weight stays the same” or “I will stop purging and bingeing, but I don’t see anything wrong with skipping snacks if I have my meals.”
When this type of thinking and language shows up, it often indicates how desperate the person is to “gain control” over food again. In fact, it is a desperate cry from the eating disorder, so that this individual doesn’t continue even further into recovery. When someone in recovery tries to bargain about behaviors and choices with food, it is a slippery slope.
Making one bargaining deal in recovery will almost certainly lead to more. Maybe it starts out as just skipping snacks and then it turns into skipping only one meal, and so on. It is easy to see how quickly this person may end up in a full-blown relapse again.
Even if bargaining does not lead to a relapse, it will undoubtedly limit someone’s quality of life in recovery. Being preoccupied with food, weight, and numbers in order to find a balance between recovery and some of the eating disorder will be time-consuming in many ways.
It will require more thoughtful attention and planning and more time convincing one’s self and others that the behaviors are appropriate and manageable, which will most likely increase overall anxiety and stress associated with food.
These behaviors will most likely interfere with meaningful relationships, work, and hobbies, even if it is less apparent than when in a full relapse.
This is why the bargaining stage is one to be very cautious and mindful of in ED recovery. Recovery goals and commitments are best identified by all members of the treatment team – individual in recovery, dietitian, therapist, and psychiatrist/physician.
If justifications for disordered eating behaviors begin as a way to deviate from recovery goals, that is a red flag of bargaining. This may demonstrate a need to re-evaluate emotions around the grief and find ways to recommit to recovery values and goals.
This may also indicate a need for control and to find other outlets for control rather than using food. Working through the experiences of bargaining and staying on track with recovery commitments will ultimately result in landing at the acceptance stage in recovery.
Staying stuck in bargaining can result in power struggles or returning to the denial stage. Instead, acceptance in the grieving process of recovery can look like an overall acceptance with food including the meal plan and an acceptance of self.
About the Author: Camille Williams, MA, NCC, LCPC
As the Eating Disorder Program Coordinator, Camille supports the development of curriculum, supervises the eating disorder specialist, and provides group therapy. She also educates and trains all staff on campus and advocates for eating disorder awareness through publications.
Camille started at Timberline Knolls as a Behavioral Health Specialist. She then transitioned into the Eating Disorder Specialist (EDS) role. In this position for nearly five years, she developed her skills and competence in working with the eating disorder population.
Camille received a Bachelor of Arts degree in both psychology and sociology from Augustana College in Rock Island, IL. She then went on to earn a Master of Arts in Clinical Professional Psychology from Roosevelt University, IL.
Camille is a member of the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals (IAEDP).
The opinions and views of our guest contributors are shared to provide a broad perspective of eating disorders. These are not necessarily the views of Eating Disorder Hope, but an effort to offer a discussion of various issues by different concerned individuals.
We at Eating Disorder Hope understand that eating disorders result from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you or a loved one are suffering from an eating disorder, please know that there is hope for you, and seek immediate professional help.
Published on July 9, 2018.
Reviewed & Approved on July 9, 2018 by Jacquelyn Ekern, MS, LPC
Published on EatingDisorderHope.com
The EatingDisorderHope.com editorial team comprises experienced writers, editors, and medical reviewers specializing in eating disorders, treatment, and mental and behavioral health.
